Random Snapshots From A Moving Train

  I got a new job! I did what I should have done a long time ago. I finally  took the leap of faith and experienced the exhilaration of feeling free from all that’s been anchoring me down all these years. What a relief! I swear a few wrinkles magically disappeared the day I handed out my two-weeks’ notice to my manager
Making the decision to leave a stable occupation at a prestigious institution wasn’t that problematic at all. The right opportunity came at the right time and I didn’t want to waste any minute second-guessing myself (of which I’m prone to do). I will surely miss some coworkers whom I have become friends with but I’m also looking forward to meeting new people and colleagues in an entirely fresh environment.   

So, what’s the big deal about this job? Without disclosing any sensitive details, I am now working for a not-for-profit organ procurement organization. After years of providing care to palliative and oncology patients (mostly terminally ill) , I get to be a part of helping people get another lease in life by placing organs and tissues where they are most needed and appropriate. Death is not an event that people will celebrate but something good can still come out of it through organ and tissue donation.

I know there are so many myths, horror stories, urban legends and bad press  about organ procurement and donation. There’s equally a lot of legitimate articles and websites out there that debunked these misinformation. I’m sure some people are turned off by the mere suggestion of donating and are even enraged by the sheer idea of having their  loved one’s remains being “harvested”. But, after hearing successful and hopeful stories of people’s lives being extended and enhanced by this gift of life, how can I not be proud to be a part of it?  

I am a registered organ donor and making that decision is pretty simple for me. It’s just the right thing to do. People might not pay attention to this issue until their own lives are affected by it. It’s easy to assume that doctors can treat whatever ails you but in some instances, an organ transplant might be the only way to get better. If no one donates, then thousands of people will never have a second chance at life.  On the other hand, a vast majority of people  have thought about it and are considering being a donor. They just have to stop procrastinating, take the next step and actually register to be one.

This blog post is not a paid commercial or ad of any sort. My goal is to reach out and encourage every person to register at their own state’s organ/tissue donor registry. It takes only a few minutes and very minimal commitment but what a significant action it is. You never know what the future brings. Just as you have the power to change some one’s life by donating life, you might find yourself or your loved one on the receiving end of that gift of life. Think about it.

 To learn more and to register, here’s the link: Donate Life 

I’m baaaccckkk!!! And it feels… pretty darn… super!

First of all, I would like to soothe those who might have had some concerns about my well-being due to my protracted hiatus from the blogging world. The emails and messages you have sent truly bestowed me the succor I needed to replenish my passion for writing again despite some impediments. I’ve had some health setbacks but nothing too ominous to be alarmed about, in retrospect. Most of my SLE symptoms are less flagrant ever since I started on a medication regimen but I must admit that my abrupt absence from Friendster and blogging was brought on by a forbidding episode a couple months ago. I believe it might have been precipitated by a particularly hard-hitting and stressful time at work and generally, just feeling the pressures of life and responsibilities. In a nutshell, I was skating on thin ice and it finally cracked under me.

I woke up one day and discovered that my entire body was seemingly ravaged with an inexplicably angry rash which of course made me itch so bad as if a colony of ants took up residence on my skin. It was indeed very uncomfortable but I was more petrified and feeling deeply despondent that things have become more dire than I anticipated. Whatever amount of bravado I had was overwhelmed once I allowed myself to mull over the likely dismal future of living with the condition. I’m not really the kind of person who will blithely profess to feeling "depressed" at a slightest emotional letdown but for a few weeks, I felt like I was just handed a death sentence. I was living in my own world of dread and panic in which words of reassurance fell on deaf ears.

Thankfully, as the rash cleared (I am now a big fan of Prednisone), the doldrums slithered away. The light at the end of the tunnel beckoned and I slowly uncoiled from the fetal position I was in. In time, I dared to rejoin the optimists welcoming me back on the other side.

Undoubtedly, unsettling occurrences and flare-ups are yet to come but hopefully, I’ll be better primed and armed with my utopian arsenal of courage, faith, lofty goals and preponderant support from family and friends (including you, Friendster peeps). I’ve had a salubrious serving of chicken soup and this blogger’s soul is on the mend. Again, thank you (you know who you are) for your unceasing encouragement and continued patronage. I hope you are all thriving and blessed in your lives as well.

I know my posts are getting to be far in between lately although there were a lot of significant events (like our new puppy, Jordan) to write about. Due to some recent setbacks, I decided to take another respite from blogging just so I can sort things out in my head. It might not be of utmost interest to everyone but I came to a conclusion that it’s best to write about it. If by some measure, people learn a little bit more about something, then it’s worth the effort. I’ve often said that each of us are just a tiny speck in the grand scheme of things but now that I have come to appreciate my bit role in the Internet global community, I aspire to make a positive dent in someone’s life if possible and whenever given the opportunity.

When I first wrote about my problem with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome , joint pains and my subsequent attempt to detoxify, I left out a lot more issues that were somewhat of clandestine nature. As candid as I try to be, some things are still better kept private. But after today’s events, I felt like I owe it to my friends and faithful readers to disclose and get it over with.

After working the night shift, I dashed out of the hospital to meet up with Kenny for my doctor’s appointment (Rheumatology) at another building. It was a freezing, wintry and windy day and I struggled to keep warm. My fingers and toes were icy cold, deathly pale and unbearably numb despite my gloves and Ugg boots. These days, it doesn’t take much to make them look and feel that way. Even just washing my hands with a cooler temperature water will do the same trick. If you ever have the occasion to see a dead person’s hands and feet, that’s the closest I can describe my predicament (Raynaud’s Phenomenon).

On the surface, I managed to keep a facade of composure. Inwardly, I was bombarded with a jumble of emotions threatening to overwhelm what little vestige of restraint I have left. It has been a drawn-out process but I finally have the chance to obtain answers, whatever they might be. After all these months of numerous hospital visits and tests, the speculations and uncertainties will hopefully come to a resolution.

It was probably one of the longest and most thorough consultation I’ve ever had with a physician and in the end, the verdict was handed out. I have Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE or lupus).

Brief background: Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can affect various parts of the body, including the skin, joints, heart, lungs, blood, kidneys and brain. Normally the body’s immune system makes proteins called antibodies, to protect the body against viruses, bacteria, and other foreign materials. These foreign materials are called antigens. In an autoimmune disorder like lupus, the immune system cannot tell the difference between foreign substances and its own cells and tissues. The immune system then makes antibodies directed against itself. These antibodies — called "auto-antibodies" (auto means ’self’) — cause inflammation, pain and damage in various parts of the body.

My worst fear was confirmed and I have to finally deal with the fact that things are going to be different from now on. I know this was coming but I was in a state of denial for the past few weeks, hoping for a better outcome. I am not going to lie and put up a brave front. I am scared as hell. I am mad, despondent, panic-stricken and feeling like I had been hit by a runaway train. I desperately wanted to move away from its path but my whole body was bolted down, succumbing to the inevitable ruin.

Why me? I’m sure a lot of you got some words of wisdom, reassurance and sympathy. In time, I’ll come to appreciate them and thank those who really care. At the moment, all I want to do is just to run off and lick my wound. What better place to do it but warm and sunny Maui? Yes, I’m headed off to Hawaii on Friday with some friends and I’ll try to enjoy every bit of this short escape although I might spend more time hiding away from the sun (photosensitivity). Before long, the real world will loom bigger and I’ll have to continue living in it for as long I can.

Right now, I have some packing to do and that is something I have control of. I will try to keep blogging during the trip. I just got a brand new camera and I’m not afraid to use it. So, catch ya later, folks! Take care of you and each other.

For more info on SLE or Lupus, here are some links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systemic_lupus_erythematosus

http://www.lupus.org/newsite/index.html

http://www.medicinenet.com/systemic_lupus/article.htm

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/lupus_systemic_lupus_erythematosus/article_em.htm

http://www.healthatoz.com/healthatoz/Atoz/common/standard/transform.jsp?requestURI=/healthatoz/Atoz/ency/systemic_lupus_erythematosus.jsp

http://www.visualdxhealth.com/adult/systemicLupusErythematosus.htm

After I posted my previous blog entry "Not-So-Accidental Tourist", I made a rare trip down to our lower ground floor to dig up some of the trinkets I’ve saved from my earlier journeys. After deftly dodging boxes and luggages from falling on me, I felt triumphant upon finding the plastic container where I stored my souvenir thimbles. As I inspected each one of them, a few memories from those jaunts came to mind and they just made me smile. Those were the days when all my friends and I wanted to do was to explore and get away from the bleak work situation we found ourselves in.

As I glanced around the chaotic basement, I can’t help but notice and ruminate at how much "junk" I have accumulated over the years. When I left the Philippines in 1994, I only brought one suitcase with me but when I relocated to another apartment a year later, it took a couple of trips and a hired help to transfer all my belongings. Ever since then, I seem to have amassed more, courtesy of the many needless shopping sprees and bargain hunts. Everytime I moved, it took a lot more time and sweat. Fortunately, I sent some of the "surplus" to my family via balikbayan boxes or there would have been more to lug around.

One thing that also helped was practicing the yearly spring cleaning which prompted me to eliminate objects that were not essential or functional anymore. Living in a two-bedroom apartment, I realized how scarce storage spaces can be. To keep my domicile in order, I adhered to the rule of divesting myself of items that had not been used in the past two or three years. It was quite testing when it came to clothes though. I had a tendency to retain them longer than I should even if they didn’t fit me anymore in the off chance that the latest fad diet will work and I can wear them again. The garments eventually found their way into the balikbayan box when they were deemed so out-of-season (to my sisters’ benefit and delight, of course). It also became the perfect excuse for further retail therapy, I’d say.

It’s amazing how some people can cling on to their material possessions so vigorously. I do understand keeping those articles when there are memories and strong emotions affixed to them. Although I have stopped collecting thimbles, I still keep them around since they are aide-mémoires of those fun-filled excursions with my friends. Nevertheless, I’ve been to a few houses that are overwhelmingly cluttered with a multitude of knick-knacks that one may think the inhabitants might be pack rats, a slang term that refer to people who collect miscellaneous items and has trouble getting rid of them (a compulsive hoarder). If you’ve seen the TV show "Clean House", you’d be appalled at how people are so desperately drowning in disarray. I can’t envisage living in such anarchy but I know first hand how it can escalate to that level if no one will put the kibosh on it.

When I visited my family for the first time after four years of being away, I had a bit of a shock when I perused through all the assorted array of dusty Nescafe glasses, tattered school books, outdated newspapers/magazines, cob-webbed crib/bassinet and other baby paraphernalia that populated every nook and cranny of my parents’ abode. I don’t believe my folks to be serial hoarders but their house was obviously besieged with things from the past and was just begging to be purged.

The whole scene perturbed me so much that on the last day of my vacation, I launched an impromptu general house cleaning with my father as an accomplice. It resulted to a huge bonfire at the back yard. My mother and grandmother were clearly mortified and tried to dissuade me from pitching everything out due to a variety of sentimental reasons. I tried to keep my resolve but compromised on a few instances when I gleaned my mother being distraught and teary-eyed. I realized I was being very hard-nosed about it. I admittedly shoved a huge plate of tough love down their throats but they were ultimately pleased and relieved with the outcome. As a result, the house was freed up with more room for things of value and consequence. I guess I gave them a crash course on spring cleaning but they sure learned it well. So far, I have not done any clean-up of that magnitude ever again during my subsequent visits.

During our life time, we gather a lot of memorabilia along the way. A few of these multifarious objects have earned a proud place on the mantel and curio cabinets while some are too precious or private and are better kept hidden or under lock and key. A number of them are pretty mundane and have become part of our daily lives. Some of our keepsake magnets are prominently displayed on the fridge but are also useful in keeping reminders (appointment cards, work schedule, invitations) in place. Kenny regularly utilizes the coffee mugs that he bought during our travels. As for me, I like to wear such tokens just like a couple of my favorite sweatshirts. One was from Disneyworld where Kenny and I got engaged and the other was from Grand Cayman where we spent our honeymoon. Yep, I’m pretty schmaltzy that way.

Anyway, how about you? What mementos have you treasured and kept? What do you usually collect? Feel free to share them and if you have a blog post about it, leave the link in the comment section as well. I’d be happy to check it out.

This blog entry is long overdue but I hesitated to post it earlier since I wanted to wait for the right time to do it. I didn’t create this blog just to rant and rave about how terrific or terrible my life is. I also aspire to share as much information and insight based on my experiences. Therefore, it is my hope that the readers will be interested, educated and motivated after reading this.

As what I’ve posted before, I was having some trouble with my right hand due to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. It turned out to be not my only health concern. On top of multiple muscle aches and joint pains, I suffered an intolerable intermittent headache for more than 2 weeks. The list of health issues or symptoms seemed to be getting longer and I found myself feeling a lot older than I should be. It was like living inside a bottle that I can’t get out of. In order to function at home and at work, I depended heavily on various OTC pain medications for relief. Furthermore, although I’ve adopted a rather lackadaisical attitude towards my continuous weight gain, I can’t deny that it has begun to affect (indigestion, shortness of breath, easy fatigability and sluggishness) my overall health. After weeks of procrastination and whining, I finally decided to see my doctor . The subsequent blood tests showed that I have elevated levels of cholesterol, ESR and ANA. My doctor then advised me to modify my diet and to seek a Rheumatology consultation. Whoa! Me, with arthritis?

Pre-detox, two weeks ago.

I should have been content and follow the doctor’s orders, right? Yes, I will do as I’m told but I decided to take it up a notch and take control, be more proactive about regaining my well-being. A week ago, I embarked on a 21-days detox regimen to cleanse my body of toxins and lose weight as well. No, folks. I’m not shilling for any company or products but for those who are interested in the details, just send me a message and I’d be happy to provide more information. So far, I’ve lost about 10 lbs in just a week and I’m feeling so much better. My aches and pains are gone and I have so much energy to spare. I’m aiming to lose 10-15 more in the next 2 weeks and I plan to keep those pounds from creeping up again by being more aware of what I put in my body and getting rid of what’s not good. They say that "you are what you eat" but it’s also true that "you are what you don’t excrete".

So, why am doing this? I think most of us expats can attest that after having lived here in the US (or anywhere else) for sometime and you go back to the Philippines to visit, your friends and family are apt to make observations about your apparent "chubbiness". Comments like "Tumaba ka" or "Nanambok lagi ka", although done in a teasing manner, can undeniably rankle on your nerves since you’ve just spent the last few weeks prior to the trip dieting and exercising but it wasn’t enough anyway. Then, you gain a lot more from indulging in all the food and delicacies that you missed and haven’t tasted for what seemed like forever. At the end of the trip, I can hardly zip up my jeans. Ugghhh!

Realistically, we can’t expect to stay the same size we were when we first left the Philippines but living a different lifestyle in a different culture has definitely and unfavorably changed us physically and it’s taking a toll on our health. How so? Let’s start with our eating habits and food choices. All of a sudden, there’s the abundance of foods that used to be unaffordable or inaccessible back then. The bad news is that we find ourselves ingesting more processed and chemically altered foods than ever before. For instance, going out for a pizza might have been a rare thing to do in the past. Nowadays, you only have to open your freezer and have a slice (or more) of cheesy pizza in a few minutes. In fact, almost everything you eat might be frozen or packaged . There’s also a variety of soda and flavored drinks on hand to wash the food down. Your pantry might be looking like a mini "sari-sari" store containing canned goods, bags of chips, baked goods, packages of noodles and pastas, condiments, etc. If you check the contents on the labels of these stuff, it’s like reading a chemistry project and you’d be amazed at how much calories and salt you’re getting from such a small amount of food . When you go out for a meal, the servings are so huge that you can easily feed a family of 3 to 5. By the time you’re done with your soup, salad and appetizer, there won’t be enough room for the entree although a dessert might be hard to resist. Sooner or later, eating larger portions become the norm and expectation. This is indeed a country who loves to supersize.

The other factor is our lifestyle. Although we work hard in our respective professions or jobs, most of us are living in a sedentary pace. We don’t have to walk anymore to the nearest bus or jeepney stop as we most likely have our own mode of transportation which is a necessity if public transit is not available. The most walking we’ll probably have would be at the mall as we indulge in retail therapy, a favorite pastime among Americans. Another issue is the higher stress level that we are subjecting ourselves to. In keeping up with a fast paced world, we are exhausted all the time and we barely give our bodies enough time to rest and recuperate from the ravages of the day’s gruelling schedule. Sooner or later, something’s going to give.

Some of you might be already living and following a very active and healthy lifestyle. Kudos to you. But for some of us who are struggling to stay fit in this new environment, we have to increase our awareness of the ways to prevent ill-health and to fight the battle of the bulge . As we know, obesity is a prevalent problem in the US. By the time a person turns 50, he or she might already have a long list of diagnoses and surgical procedures in their medical record . I don’t want to be a part of that statistic so I’m doing what I can to keep that from happening and you should too. We work so hard to get to where we’re at and it would be a darn shame to lose everything because we are not treating our body with more care and respect. As what my sage grandma used to say, "Health is wealth" and she lived beyond her 80s. I can only hope to survive and enjoy my golden years like her.

I realized it has been a really long time since I posted a blog entry. Aside from plain laziness and being preoccupied with summertime activities, I’ve been pretty much physically hindered from doing anything that needs the use of my right hand or arm. How so? Well, I’ve been trying to ignore the tingling or numbness I’ve had for months in my hand and wrist. It’s usually accompanied by sudden, sharp, piercing pain that shoots through the wrist and up my arm. Just a passing cramp? I wish. You’ve probably guessed that I more likely have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS), a painful progressive condition caused by compression of a key nerve in the wrist.

Since I have the predisposition to make my blog entries a bit long, I decided to take a self-imposed sabbatical from the blog world although I never cease to blog hop and check updates on my friends in Friendster. I just have to limit myself as I don’t want to cause anymore discomfort to my affected extremity. You better believe that it takes a lot of self-restraint to keep myself from surfing the net and Kenny has taken it upon himself to spy on me and chastise me whenever I’m spending too much time on the cyberspace. Can’t blame him though since he has to put up with my whining and crying when my fingers start tingling and feeling numb. The pain can be such that I’ve been taking so much Ibuprofen and Aleve over the past few weeks. I’ve also been sleeping and working with a wrist brace/splint on which can be very inconvenient and cumbersome. Anyway, I’m going to set up an appointment with my doctor to see if there’s anything else that can be done aside from popping pain pills and immobilizing my arm. I just couldn’t imagine living my life feeling handicapped and incapacitated.

Anyway, enough about my bellyaching. I’m sure you guys are also enjoying the summer festivities. For us, we received a few invites to various events for the last month so we seldom had a weekend to just kick back or to take care of some house chores that were long overdue. The month of July will be hectic as well. We’re not really complaining at all. It’s just nice to get together with friends and family and to enjoy the warm and balmy weather. It won’t be long before fall and winter will be at our doorsteps once again

On April 16, 2007, the Virginia Tech gunman, Seung-Hui Cho, started his day of mayhem at 7 a.m. Police said he unleashed 170 rounds on the classrooms of Norris Hall during his rampage which ended when Cho put a bullet through his head and died, surrounded by his victims and leaving a total of 32 deaths that shocked the nation. Ten days into their investigation, authorities cannot explain exactly what prompted Seung-Hui Cho to shoot 32 members of the Virginia Tech community before turning the gun on himself. This event has been compared to the Columbine High School massacre, the third-deadliest school shooting in United States history.

The horrendous event elicited a variety of responses, from local to national, as well as international level. When the identity and citizenship of the perpetrator was revealed, I can’t help but be relieved that he wasn’t a Filipino. Understandably, the South Koreans expressed shock and a sense of public shame. There were also concerns of reprisal attacks and that the shooting might stir up racial prejudice or confrontation. I can’t blame them for feeling and thinking that way. I sure felt that kind of worry ten years ago when a Filipino-American surfaced in the media and gained notoriety due to his killing spree in the US.

It’s exactly 10 years ago today when Andrew Phillip Cunanan murdered his first victim and took the lives of 4 more people including Gianni Versace. He also became the 449th fugitive to be listed by the FBI on the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list. At the time of the crimes, there was much public and press speculation that Cunanan’s motives were tied to a diagnosis of HIV infection; however, an autopsy found him to be HIV-negative. After Cunanan’s suicide, it is impossible to identify motives with certainty. Much like Cho despite his multimedia manifesto.

At the height of his murderous pursuit, I cringed every time Cunanan’s Filipino descent was mentioned in the media and I avoided discussing him in mixed company. I know my friends felt the same way too. We felt unduly sensitive to comments made about him and his background. We just didn’t want to be identified with him at all. I’m sure the same is true with the South Koreans and Cho’s relatives.

This post is not meant to glorify these men’s violent acts nor to condemn them to eternal damnation. I don’t really know what lurked in the dark recesses of their minds and hearts. I guess I just want to point out the reality that most expats like me do have a tendency to quickly claim association with other successful and widely renowned Filipinos even if we are in no way directly related to them. We can look at it as having a strong sense of national pride. But, if the situation is on the negative end of the spectrum, we will be as quick in denouncing and distancing ourselves from those of the bad seed variety. I don’t think it’s being hypocritical or characteristic of a fair-weather friend. It’s just but a natural reaction to socially acceptable or unacceptable circumstances, I suppose.

I realize it’s been a while since my last post. I suppose I’ve been preoccupied with a lot of things and my focus had been split into different directions. Also, as the weather gets warmer and nicer, I find myself spending less time on the internet except when checking out my friends’ blogs and updates. Yup! It’s time to come out of hibernation and put on those flip-flops or Havaianas (pronounced ah-vai-YAH-nas), shorts, capris and summer dresses. Although it can still get cooler and the temperature usually takes a dip at night, I can already tell the big difference in my mood. Somehow, optimism comes easier and my reservoir of patience and tolerance is being replenished as the mercury rises.

There’s definitely an attitude makeover in progress. Even the fact that a few more pounds had crept up on my already "pear-shaped" physique, I don’t mind it as much as I used to. Perhaps working in an environment where people gets a rude awakening on a regular basis helps anchor my perspective on the harsh realities of life. A few nights ago, I came upon a forty-something female patient who was sobbing on her bed. When I asked her what’s wrong, she tearfully replied,"The food just goes through me. Nothing is being absorbed. How can I put on any weight at all?" In case you don’t understand what she meant, she was referring to the chronic diarrhea that she’s suffering from for almost two years now. Her shrinking body can testify to what she’s been going through. She was very frail and cachectic looking and could be easily mistaken for a gangly twelve year-old girl with her very tiny frame. I was at a loss for words. I muttered a few words of sympathy and comfort and left the room minutes later feeling humbled and grateful that my body is still capable of nourishing itself and I get to go home and enjoy doing the things I can do. There’s just so much to be grateful for indeed. Let me count the blessings.

A tested formula: a happy Rosemarie = a happy Kenny . When he found out that it’s going to be in the 80s last Sunday, he proposed to take a drive to downtown Chicago and take the dogs, Sidney and Lara, for a stroll down Lake Shore Drive. I happily agreed and was so psyched for it that I didn’t even mind having only 2 hours of sleep before heading out. There was a spring in my step that I just couldn’t mask and I couldn’t help laughing at every cute little thing that my doggies did. They were as excited as their Mama Monkey (that’s me  and Papa Monkey (guess who?). We trekked from the Adler Planetarium all the way to the Navy Pier which probably spanned more than 3 miles. Our feet (and paws) were feeling the burn but we prodded on, taking the time to appreciate the beautiful scenery and the relaxed vibe from the people around us. Our downtown excursion was an easy reminder that the simple pleasures in life don’t have to come from expensive objects or grand events. It’s just out there, mostly for free ( except for the parking fee, I guess) and more satisfying than anything. We had such an awesome time that Kenny offered to do it again on Saturday and his Mom will probably come with us as well. I am so looking forward to it already.

I hope I didn’t bore you guys . I just feel like sharing since I know most of you are also having great times together with your friends, families and loved ones. In light of the tragedy that recently struck Virginia Tech, a little love fest and some feel-good moments couldn’t hurt, right? Anyhoo, let me end this rambling with this quotation:

"Determine now to not make your life’s end a moment filled with regrets. Or at least make sure they are the right regrets. Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can."

Paint away, folks!

As I’ve posted before, there’s another wedding  coming up in Kenny’s family and it is fast approaching as evidenced by the invitation I received for a bridal (or rather, couple) shower last Friday night. With only barely three hours of sleep, I head over to the banquet hall where the groom’s mother hosted the affair. As expected, the attendees (more or less 50) were predominantly women but the groom and the bride’s father were also in attendance. I was relieved to find that my mother-in-law reserved a seat for me next to her and my sister-in-law. After extending a round of greetings and hugs to the rest of the family, I settled down to enjoy the nice dinner deftly served by the staff.

After the desserts finally disappeared from the table, Sarah and T.K. started opening numerous boxes and gift bags from the long table across the room."Ohhhs" and "ahhhs" occasionally emanated from the crowd. Most of the presents were houseware and kitchenware items and some miscellaneous home decorative accessories. Some also included stuff that the couple might find useful for their honeymoon in Las Vegas (casino chips, sunscreen, etc). There were also envelopes that contained either gift cards or checks. Sarah and T.K. made a point of acknowledging and thanking the givers and were obviously overwhelmed by their generosity. Overall, it was a very successful event. The young couple will certainly find themselves running out of space in their townhome due to the multitude of gifts they have received so far. I found out the the bride’s family will also be hosting another shower soon. Lucky kids, huh?

I felt the same way when Kenny and I had our own pre-wedding festivities a few years ago. In fact, we had a total of three bridal showers. Aside from the first one hosted by Kenny’s family and the second one that was separately given by my close friends, my coworkers at the hospital surprised me with a breakfast party where they presented me with a huge basket full of miscellaneous items that they chose from our registry. Ah, the bridal registry! What a boon it is.

When I first came to the US, I didn’t know much about bridal showers or wedding registries. Although Filipinos have adopted a lot of Western customs (Halloween, Easter bunny and eggs) nowadays, I doubt if giving a bride a gift giving party before her wedding is one of them (as far as I know). At the weddings I’d been to before in the Philippines, I remember that newlyweds mostly received houseware gifts on their wedding day. It’s a great thing except that the couple might end up receiving multiple sets of drinking glasses, plates, utensils and an inordinate number of thermoses, pots and pans. Since most items can’t be returned or exchanged at the stores, that could pose a bit of a problem. This is where a wedding or bridal registry would have been of assistance.

There are many benefits for a couple creating a wedding registry. First, most wedding guests appreciate having a list of what the couple needs. No one wants to be the one to buy the couple their fifth toaster . With electronic wedding gift registries, when a guest buys something for the couple, it is automatically removed from the list. Registering for wedding gifts also gives the new couple the ability to keep track of the items they have for their new life as a married couple. This eliminates the problem of having too many of one thing, and none of another after all of the gifts are opened. Having a wedding registry also saves the couple from the embarrassment of answering questions about their needs. When a well-meaning friend or family member inquires as to what a couple wants as wedding gifts, many brides-to-be feel uncomfortable answering truthfully. The blushing bride may wonder how much the guest wants to spend, and how to offer some gift suggestions without sounding selfish or greedy. Having a bridal registry to direct the inquirer towards eliminates a potentially uncomfortable situation. Finally, being registered helps facilitate returns or refunds of unwanted or extra items without a lot of hassle. Truly a blessing.

The first bridal shower I attended was for my friend Fritze. Although a few of her then-fiance’s relatives brought gifts that were from her wedding registry, some of her friends had something else different in mind. As the bride-to-be pulled out sexy lingerie items and some unmentionables from the gift bags, the guests subsequently hollered and shrieked. The ruckus increased when a greased up stripper in a cop outfit came out of nowhere and treated us to a licentious performance that made us blush and squirm in embarrassment. When the guy swooped down and took off his velcroed pants in one swift motion and gave a clear view of his obvious asset, a few girls ran out of the room like they were chased by the devil. It was hilarious!

It was probably one of the most entertaining bridal showers I’ve ever attended. I’m sure some of you had been to one like it. Anyway, whether it is laid-back or full of fun and games, it’s great to take part in a custom like this. It gives us an opportunity to bond with other women, pay homage to our grandmothers and mothers and be reminded to aspire to become what an ideal wife/spouse is supposed to be, in this century anyway.

It was a long and nerve-wracking trip to Michigan last Friday night. Two hours into my drive, I must have passed more than a dozen vehicles stranded on the side of the road and on ditches. It was a brisk night of business for towing companies and a hectic shift for the cops responding to calls about vehicular accidents. The weather conditions were pretty bad but I pressed on and got to my friend’s place in one piece.

It was a bit of a shock to see how much my godson Rhyss have grown this past year. He is going to be a tall boy I’m sure. It took him a while to warm up to me but by the time I left on early Sunday morning, he let me hold him for a photo together.

His birthday party was loads of fun. I got to meet more of Marlica’s friends and also got reacquainted with someone from home. Maye was younger than me and she was more my sister Emily’s friend back then. I remember her to be intelligent and very talented in playing the piano and organ. In fact, she regularly played the church organ during her high school years. I’ve always admired that in her and it was indeed a pleasure to meet her again after all these years. She has her own family now and I was privileged to meet her husband and two of her kids. We promised to keep in touch and I look forward to seeing them again soon. Maybe when they come for a visit to Chicago. Right, Maye?

The drive home was still lengthy but the weather was more conducive. I managed to amuse myself by taking some snapshots on a particular subject that I had been interested on for some time now. Some photos didn’t turn out as good  and there were times when I was sorely tempted to make an impulsive exit off I-94 to seek out those tall structures I glimpsed from afar. Anyway, I was content to add a few more pictures to my slide show on water towers.

I posted a blog entry on this before but I recalled something else related to this matter so I thought I’d write about it again. These water towers reminded me of one disparity between the Philippines and a country like the US; the lack of easy access to clean potable water.

When I was young and living with my grandmother, most people in the barrio would come to her house to fetch water from her pump -operated well. Every morning, neighbors lined up outside my grandma’s gate armed with their buckets, ready to collect their water supply for the day. At sundown, a similar line formed again to replenish their containers (barrels, clay pots / banga). It wasn’t until I was in high school that the village people finally started having their own water supply at home. Even then, it still wasn’t dependable and could run out at any given time especially during the high volume usage. I think they even had an alloted time of the day when they had water flow and certain areas or households didn’t. Much like the brown out (or blackouts) situation I remembered from my childhood. That’s another story anyway.

When my parents had an additional bathroom built in their house, they equipped it with a shower stall upon my request. It turned out to be a waste of money and effort since the water pressure was too weak and all it could muster to deliver were a few drips at a time or nothing at all. More than a year ago, we commissioned for a generator and container and my mother was happy to report that the water supply has been more sufficient since. Confident enough about the water availability, another shower was installed during a recent renovation just before my last visit. Yep, I was finally able to take a decent, albeit quick shower. The water was way too cold for me since I can’t seem to figure out the water heater system. Oddly enough, I didn’t even mind the cold shower as much after sweating it out in a sweltering climate.

Knowing how water towers work, it really made me wish that the Philippines will someday find the resources to avail themselves of this necessity. After all, water is one of the basic needs for our survival. Anyway, if your town or city has an interesting water tower or if you have seen one somewhere else, I would surely appreciate it if you can send me a picture of it so I can add it to my gallery. That would be really awesome!